Effective communication, we all agree, is important. Employers often include effective communication skills as a fundamental requirement in job descriptions. But what does this really mean? Using clear language, sound logic and correct grammar are part of the process. But understanding when and how to share information requires a very complex understanding of not only the situation at hand, but also of the people involved. And it also involves more than just talking or writing - it requires listening.

Have you ever had a boss who wouldn't listen? When you would try to explain something, you'd be cut off in mid-sentence. No doubt, he felt he already knew what you were going to say, and in a no-nonsense, get-to-the-bottom-line-quickly assault, he jumped into the conversation and pronounced his edict without hearing your input.

Have you ever been the one who didn't listen? Have you ever regretted your impulsiveness and brashness? An ancient proverb states, "He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him" (Proverbs 18:13).

There are numerous reasons why people don't listen effectively. Perhaps the most common one is a lack of practice. Many people are habitually inattentive to what others say to them. While someone is talking, these people are mentally disconnected from the conversation at hand. In their minds, they may be going over the day's schedule, thinking of calls they need to return or, if they are listening, they may be formulating a response while the speaker is stating his case. Many important details, including nonverbal cues, are lost in the process. The listener has only understood part of the intended message.

Environment is frequently overlooked as a factor that can contribute to poor listening. It is difficult to remain attentive when a speaker is droning on for long periods of time in a poorly ventilated room with inadequate lighting. Or perhaps a colleague tries to tell you something important while standing in a huge room filled with noisy machinery and co-workers bustling by. Environment can also include the appropriateness of the message for the setting involved. Whispering to someone next to you about your vacation plans while the chief executive officer is discussing the annual business plan would hinder the recipient's ability to listen effectively. Conversely, if your boss tells you that you're being transferred to Siberia as he walks by you at the water cooler, the informal, public nature of the setting could adversely affect your ability to fully absorb his message.

Another factor that can affect listening is status. "A poor man uses entreaties, but the rich answers roughly" (Proverbs 18:23). One's perception of position can often distort communication. When speaking with a person in a position of authority, many people will craft their message so as to impress and not offend. Sometimes, when speaking with a person in a lower hierarchical position, individuals may be unnecessarily cold or insensitive to the listener's needs. Both scenarios can contribute to the receiver distorting the message that is actually sent.

A fourth factor that contributes to poor listening is defensiveness. We all have some insecurities within us that prevent us from receiving messages we fear - there are certain things we simply don't want to know. This can be especially true when issues affect our values, assumptions or self-image. Rather than listening attentively when such topics arise, we find ourselves becoming emotionally defensive. Perhaps we try to divert the conversation or mentally dismiss or tune out what is being said.

Hidden agendas or purposeful deceptions are related factors that can also hinder effective listening. Sometimes people have motives they prefer not to reveal. When communicating with others, they may seek a competitive advantage by being intentionally ambiguous. Or perhaps they only present a portion of the relevant information for your consideration. If this continues over time, low trust and a lack of cooperation will often result. This technique has been around for thousands of years. "The first one to plead his cause seems right, until his neighbor comes and examines him" (Proverbs 18:17).

This can lead to hostility, which can also negatively affect one's ability to listen. If good will is missing in a relationship, messages tend to be reframed in a negative way. When trust is low and people are angry, no matter what the speaker communicates, it is likely to be distorted. Motives will be ascribed and assumptions will be formulated as to what the person really meant. Another proverb wisely observes, "A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city and contentions are like the bars of a castle" (Proverbs 18:19).

Given these barriers to effectively communicating with others, what can we do to improve our skills in this vital area? There are numerous books available that provide useful suggestions. One of them, Becoming a Master Manager: A competency framework (Quinn, Faerman, Thompson & McGrath, 1996, John Wiley & Sons Inc.) lists the following seven rules for effective communication:

1. Be clear on who the receiver is. What is the receiver's state of mind? What assumptions might he or she have concerning the issue?
2. Know what your objective is. What do you want to accomplish by sending the message?
3. Analyze the climate. Is there something you can do to help the receiver relax and be more open to your communication?
4. Review the message in your head before you say it. Listen to the practice message from the point of view of the receiver.
5. Communicate in the language of the other person. Use examples and illustrations that come from the world of the receiver.
6. If the receiver seems not to understand, clarify the message. Ask questions. If repetition is necessary, try different words and illustrations.
7. If the response is seemingly critical, do not react defensively. Try to understand what is happening in the receiver. Why is he or she reacting negatively? The receiver may be misunderstanding. Ask clarifying questions.

It can also be helpful to ask others (co-workers, personal friends or family members) to provide constructive feedback on our strengths and weaknesses as an effective communicator. It is generally difficult for us to accurately perceive how we come across to others. "A wise man will hear and increase learning and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel" (Proverbs 1:5).

Applying these basic principles will help us improve our communication skills and increase our effectiveness both in the workplace and in our personal lives.

Teddi Treybig lives in Lubbock, Texas, and is the founder of Personality Dynamics, a training and consulting firm specializing in improving workplace communication. For additional inspirational articles, visit http://www.ucg.org, the Web site of the United Church of God, an international association.