There is a very valuable old saying that tells us to "love your neighbor as you love yourself." Sometimes we forget the enormous value of these time-tested statements. In the passage of time, we learn, and if necessary, relearn these vital lessons for living.

We need to stop and think about our work and careers. It is clear that all success, be it material, vocational or personal happiness, is dependent upon our ability to get along and deal effectively with other people. That ability is dependent on our ability to get along and deal effectively with ourselves. Simply put, look into the mirror. The person looking back at you might not be perfect, but you have to like that person. That is the person who will determine the degree of happiness and success you will achieve on the job and in life - that person is you!

No normal person hates himself or herself. If such strong feelings exist, they usually have a root cause. We take care of ourselves. We wash, comb our hair, dress with some care, use deodorants, we look for people we like to be with, and we have things we enjoy in life. There is a danger that we may not want to make the needed moves to like ourselves just a little bit better. We need to take stock of our own selves and work with that which needs work. There can be no better way to succeed in the workplace. Remember, real success in life depends on your ability to get along and interact with other people.

Most people shy away from things that take effort or self-criticism. Self-discipline, learning new things, tackling hard problems and moving out of our comfort zone all take effort. We are inclined to take the easier path. However, those who have learned to take the more difficult path have also learned that in the struggle and effort needed to be a better person, lies true happiness. Education and mind development takes us to as higher level of life. An effort in introspection pays huge dividends. Once the process is underway and the results begin to come in, the feedback alone fuels the drive to improve oneself. It is pleasant to receive compliments (whether we admit that or not).

One of the greatest certainties in life is that a person does change. Another obvious certainty is that we have the ability to change ourselves. We can mold ourselves into a better person. The beauty of this thought is that in doing so, we will have a growing circle of friends, and our association with fellow workers will make coming to the job something to look forward to. This benefit is automatic when we like ourselves a little better.

It is a shock to find out that we are our own worst enemy. You must know many people who you see are hurting themselves by their actions. It can be someone who refuses to study, someone who is continually critical of others, a person who uses foul language, one who always has negative things to say about others or about the job. In seeing those people, remember that you too are hurting yourself. You can be a better person. The process you start will be lifelong, but well worth the effort.

Here are a few tips that will help you get started. You can add to the list, or just take one tip at a time and put it into practice. I love observing people and I have seen these things work a thousand times. Here goes:

1. Do something nice for someone else every day. The boy scouts always determined to do a good deed every day. This would be something for which you expect no returns. You can start small with things like holding the door open for someone, find something nice to say about someone else, say please and thank you or take the parking spot that is just a little farther away to let someone less able have the closer spot. You get the idea.
2. Think about your words before they leave your lips. My parents taught us that it is better to say nothing at all, if you cannot say something good about another person. Of course, there are times when you know some not so nice things about others and may even have to correct people. The measure of a person is in how that person corrects others. Slow down and smell the roses a little bit. Smelling and appreciating other people's roses is not a bad thing to do. We rush through life, and if we are not careful, we can get caught up in this hurried world. Efficiency is good and necessary, but the side effect of a mad dash (when compared to controlled actions) make the latter choice far better.
3. Strive to be punctual. When you say you will be home at 6 p.m., try hard to be there. Work to be on time for work! It does take planning and effort to maintain a schedule that may be crowded. We live in a world (our society) that functions by the clock. Being on time for appointments and for work show your appreciation for the job.
4. Learn to listen more than you speak. There are people who open their mouths just long enough to change feet. You do not need to be one of these. Listening is an art that is worth cultivating. You will learn more, and your answers will be filled with wisdom.
5. If there is anything noble, good or positive to think about (and there are many such things), think about them. Fill your mind with the positive things about your workplace, your fellow workers, the job you are doing and yourself. You do have many very good points of character. You have talents and abilities to use. Think about those things so that you can develop them and utilize them.

I leave you with these points, for now. Of all the advice you will ever receive on holding a job and learning to enjoy life, there will be no greater piece of advice than knowing that getting along with others - first means getting along with ourselves, first. A man named Carlyle put it so aptly when he said, "There's a dark spot on every man's sun - it is the shadow of himself." Take stock of who and what you are, count the good and the bad - and then get busy eliminating the bad. I remember an old song in which the sound advice was "accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative." Apply that in your life and you will find that you will be getting along better with others because you are getting along better with yourself. Try it - you will like it! - Robert Berendt

Robert Berendt is a pastor in Canada with the United Church of God and International Association. For additional information, visit their Web site at: http://www.ucg.org.